To The Single Girl
Have you ever wondered why you can’t meet that exceptional man you’ve been waiting for your entire life? Your soul mate, your dream mate, your knight in shining armor?
I am here to give you some fantastic secret dating tips.
I got you!
What Not To Do
Ok. Seriously! This is NOT one of those PODCASTS where I will tell you how to dress in a lace teddy, cook a seven-course meal while vacuuming the entire house, and clipping the rose bushes. So that you can show your new date what a great catch you are and entice him to marry you.
This is NOT the advice that I want to give you.
I’ve Been There
You must know that I have been where you are many times. And, I used to think that the more beautiful, skinny, successful, rich, well-connected a woman was, the more of a chance she had to catch that fabulous man. It was especially challenging while living in New York City.
Because to me, New York City men seemed like toddlers at a candy store. Faced with too many choices, they jumped from lollipop to lollipop — sort of speak.
What I want to share with you comes from my research and my own life experience, as well as my observations.
To find the perfect mate, you have first to find yourself!
That goes to say, if you think that the “ideal man” will come to rescue you and sweep you off your feet to make you feel like a princess, you are in for a big surprise.
Because that prince does not exist.
And, if he does, he WILL break your heart.
Because you will be with him for all the wrong reasons.
No one can rescue you from yourself, but you.
So, here is my advice. Forget about the fact that you are looking for a man or want a man or need a man.
Can you handle it? Yes, you can! I know you can!
Go on alone vacation somewhere. And, when you get there, don’t look for him. Instead, have fun. Get to know you. The real you.
When you’re amidst your very own self-exploration journey, and the time is right, he will appear. But only when you have had gone through a period of true self-discovery. No one knows how long that journey will last because it’s your journey. Accept that and, you will feel a sense of relief. I assure you of that.
Learning About You
At some point during this journey, there will be a shift in your perception. Eventually, you will not even want the guys that interested you before. Because you will learn what’s meaningful in life. When the Universe/God thinks you’re ready, a wonderful person with a beautiful heart (not a beautiful car/bank account/house/face) will be sent your way. And you will appreciate him. And he will understand you. The real you. The way you are when you wake up in the morning. When you are not wearing any makeup.
Dear sister, I am speaking to you from experience. I’ve lived the single life! For a long, long, long, long time. And, in the most, I think, challenging place, a single girl can ever endure a single life: New York City.
I Was There
Yes, I have read books from Barnes & Noble on how to catch the perfect man. I sat in the back, wearing sunglasses, because just in case god-forbid, somebody would stumble upon me in the self-help aisle of the books store or what’s worse, with a dating book in my hand. No, not me!
Anyway, none of it worked. Until I’ve finally surrendered. I relinquished myself to my inner child or whatever the “hek” that means. We’ll use the term “inner child’ for the sake of its popularity, but I am still not sure what that term means. For me, it was my imaginary, impatient toddler named Isabell, who wouldn’t eat peas and threw frequent tamper-tantrums. Feel free to choose whatever persona you’d like.
Nonetheless, it was not until I’ve abandoned the dating game altogether. Not until I’ve said, “screw this!” and left for long trips to Europe by myself. Not expecting anything in return and being happy by myself. It’s not until I felt free being alone that he’d appeared. Out of nowhere. On a very ordinary Sunday morning, while I was still living in Europe.
We got married in 2014, a year and a half after we met and are still together.
Please don’t believe the media’s interpretation of women’s prerequisites. Please don’t think it when anyone tries to tell you that there is something wrong with you. That you are broken, and that is why you “can’t” find a man. This is false. A myth that is unfortunate. Sadly, some women buy into it.
You Are Perfect
I am here to tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, girlfriend. Nothing! Whether you weight 119 pounds or 190 pounds or whatever, you are you, and you are beautiful. It’s time to embrace that!
Start loving who you are the way God made you. Start living your life! And, when you do, things will start to fall into place. Just the way they’re meant to be. I promise you; there is a person for you out there that will love every inch of you, just the way you are.
Remember the movie “Bridget Jones Diary”? Where she wrapped herself in a bedsheet to go to the bathroom so that her lover wouldn’t see her? She was so self-conscious of her body. She was so shocked when her lover told her that she didn’t need to do that. Because he liked her, “just the way, she was.”
In today’s media-driven world, women make such demands on themselves. We think that we have to look like the famous supermodels, or super-actresses, or super-celebrities. But we don’t have to do anything.
All we have to do is to try to be the best version of ourselves. Try to take care of ourselves, eat healthily, do moderate exercise, even if it’s only walking (more on that in my next post), and embrace our destiny. Embrace our own unique lives. Our individuality.
You Are Unique
We are special, no matter where we live. No matter who we are. Whether we live in New York City, Ohio, or Uzbekistan. Hold on, Wikipedia says that Uzbekistan is a Central Asian nation and former Soviet republic. Just in case you didn’t know. I know I have to check the map all the time. So, whether we are doctors, lawyers, or cashiers at Walmart. It doesn’t matter. We are made to be loved, and we are made to be loved just the way we are.
I hope I’ve inspired you in some way to live your life to the fullest right now.
I would be so grateful if you comment below.
Hungry for more content? Read our blog on How To Be Charming – The Mystery And Technique
Photo credit: All post photos property of Caramel Chic, except for Bridget Jones Diary: Miramax
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